You are you, and I am I. And there is no changing that. The date on a calendar is not an opportunity to change the essence of who you are. If you believe it is, let me attempt to enlighten you. Because honestly, the best you can hope for is some enlightenment.
So here are some things you can change in the New Year:
Change your reactions. Okay, you can’t change the essence of who you are, but you can change the way you react to other people, situations, and even obstacles that will inevitably invade your life. This is tougher than it sounds, kind of like teaching an old dog new tricks. But it is valuable. Instead of dwelling on the pain of saying goodbye to someone, focus on how great it will be to say hello again.
Accept yourself, accept others. You will certainly heat someone this New Year say, “I am who I am. So I’m not making any resolutions to change.” Great. Acceptance of who you are is a grand start to changing how you interact with the world around you. But one additional piece will make it even easier. At the same time you accept yourself, accept others for who they are as well. Realize that as helpless as you are to change the essence of who you are, you are equally or more helpless to change someone else. Stop trying to change those around you.
Feel free to say Goodbye. Probably the toughest of all, but one we need to embrace. Because you are who you are, and others are who they are, sometimes you just don’t mix well. The chemistry is just bad, and you find it difficult to impossible to change your reactions to that person, or accept them. Sometimes, you just need to say goodbye and move on. It will be better for both of you in the long run.
Feel free to say Hello. At the same time, trying new things, associating with new people can be one of the best ways to reset, change your reactions, and surround yourself with others willing to accept you and themselves. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no. But it is a resolution easier to keep than trying to change who you are at the core.
I’m not telling you not to make resolutions at all. Instead, I think we need to be realistic. There is no “new you” there is only you. There is, however, a new year, filled with possibility.
Happy New Year.