Introducing a new blog, and blog thread. My girlfriend and I sometimes disagree over things of dubious importance, and the only fair way to settle the argument is to let you, the people decide. So we’ve started a blog, titled That’s What S(he) said. Find it here, and leave us your comments. Be sure to take our surveys, like the one at the end of this post, because your opinion counts.
Peed there to Be There
Since I have been back east this spring, I’ve added quite a few states to my list. They’re close together, (compared to those out west) and I stay well hydrated, so establishing my visits has never been problematic. But this weekend, my girlfriend Abby and I took a bus to New York from Philadelphia. I’ve never been to New Jersey, but the bus wasn’t stopping anywhere in the state. This was an issue for me, but I quickly thought of a solution.
I’d just pee in the bus restroom on the way through. Then I would have peed in New Jersey, right? That would mean I had been there. Suggesting as much to my partner, she immediately belittled my method, emphatically stating my plan was flawed, and my visit would not count.
Her points are outlined below.
First of all, the bus is elevated off of the ground, moving through an area, where neither your feet nor anything stationary touch the ground. How on earth can it count to be somewhere if your foot doesn’t even touch the ground?
Secondly, going to the bathroom on the bus makes even less sense as counting. Your pee goes into a tank that doesn’t even go near the ground in that area. I think the entire point of ‘peed there to be there’ is leaving your deposit in the land. Since the sewage from the bus doesn’t actually GO into the land in Jersey for this case…. NO COUNT! If they pumped the sewage tank in Jersey I might be persuaded.
It is crystal clear my side is the logical one here. If you stick your junk out the window and pee into the free wind leaving your deposit, that counts. Your deposit has to actually go into the ground. And that ladies and gentlemen is my side… the correct one.
In the end, I never used the bus restroom, so the point became moot. I am convinced it was due to Abby distracting me to foil my urination scheme. So even by my loose standards, I cannot cross Jersey off my list. I’ll just have to go back in a car, with a fuller bladder next time.
What do you think? What do you have to do in a state to make the visit count, so you can cross it off your list?
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Troy is a freelance writer, author, and blogger who lives, works, and plays in Boise, Idaho with the love of his life and three very talented dogs.
Passionate about writing dark psychological thrillers, he is an avid cyclist, skier, hiker, all-around outdoorsman, and a terrible beginning golfer.