Month: May 2015

The Heaviest Things

A plumber taught me one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned a couple of years ago. When clearing a rather significant clog in our plumbing, he said “Let’s do the double sink test.” He filled both of the kitchen sinks to the brim with water, and as he did, said something quite profound: “If you have a clog, you should throw the heaviest thing in your house you can down the drain first, before calling anyone like me. What do you think that is?” “I have no idea,” I said, while I watched the water rise. As the water reached the top, with a certain drama, he pulled both plugs at the same time. The water level dropped rapidly, large gurgles coming from the now cleared pipes. “Water,” he explained, “is the heaviest thing you can throw down your pipes.” He went on to talk about the number of gallons of water in both sinks, and the weight of each gallon. But I zoned out at that point. Because I knew what he was saying was true, I’d just never thought of it. Words too, are like water. Language is one of the heaviest things we have in our human arsenal, the way to express both our deepest feelings and our most amusing thoughts. Sometimes we don’t think of them as heavy, just like we don’t think...

Read More

Peed There to Be There

Introducing a new blog, and blog thread. My girlfriend and I sometimes disagree over things of dubious importance, and the only fair way to settle the argument is to let you, the people decide. So we’ve started a blog, titled That’s What S(he) said. Find it here, and leave us your comments. Be sure to take our surveys, like the one at the end of this post, because your opinion counts. Peed there to Be There Troy’s side I wanted to add another state to my visited list. But there’s only one way to make it count, at least by the rules I have been taught. You have to have peed there to have been there. Since I have been back east this spring, I’ve added quite a few states to my list. They’re close together, (compared to those out west) and I stay well hydrated, so establishing my visits has never been problematic. But this weekend, my girlfriend Abby and I took a bus to New York from Philadelphia. I’ve never been to New Jersey, but the bus wasn’t stopping anywhere in the state. This was an issue for me, but I quickly thought of a solution. I’d just pee in the bus restroom on the way through. Then I would have peed in New Jersey, right? That would mean I had been there. Suggesting as much to...

Read More


Eyes close. There is nothing to see. The room is dark, the ceiling above the same shade it was last time you looked. How long ago? Five minutes? Jesus, please let it be five minutes. A glance at the clock. Not five. Three. Why not two more? Eyes close. Where is the off switch for my mind? How can I stop these dreams, these images? Why must they choose now to come? five minutes? Jesus, please let it be five minutes. A glance at the clock. Not five. Two, this time. What happened to five? Eyes close. There is nothing to see. The room is dark, the ceiling above the same shade it was last time you looked. A blink? All I get this time is a fucking blink? Not five minutes. Not two. Don’t glance at the clock. It won’t be good. Won’t be… What happened to two? Dry eyes. They won’t even blink now. There is no respite from the constant, meager light. The ceiling above the same shade as the last time I looked. Five minutes, two minutes, a blink? No. Not a goddamn thing. I might as well get up, since I’m sleepless. What else should I do? Share...

Read More

Broken Places

I’ve long been a follower of Rachel Thompson, a social media and book marketing queen who detests the word guru, is constantly learning, and posts some really great stuff for authors. She is also an author in her own right. She has written about her experiences in Broken Pieces, Broken Places, and coming soon (I believe) Broken People. These books are a collection of stories, essays, and poems chronicling her own journey as a survivor of abuse. But I have a confession: although I have followed her from some time, I just bought one of her books for the...

Read More

Social Media Icons

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On GooglePlusVisit Us On PinterestCheck Our FeedVisit Us On Linkedin

Find me on Authorgraph

Get your e-book signed by Troy Lambert

Recent Comments